From Impulse to Inaction: The Complex Truth About ADHD and Decision-Making
Welcome, dear reader.
Have you ever felt paralysed by indecision after an impulse, unable to act? This is a common yet overlooked struggle for many with ADHD. Today, let's explore the complexities of impulse control in ADHD and discover practical strategies to overcome this challenge.
The Misconception of Impulsivity in ADHD
Impulsivity in ADHD is often misunderstood as merely acting on a whim without considering the consequences. However, the reality is much more complex. For individuals with ADHD, impulsivity can feel like having multiple controllers in the brain, each pushing buttons without coordination. This lack of coordination can lead to actions that seem spontaneous but are actually driven by an underlying struggle to manage strong impulses.
The common perception is that people with ADHD act impulsively because they are reckless or thoughtless. In truth, ADHD impulsivity is a clinical issue characterized by "action without foresight". This means that individuals with ADHD may move or speak before fully processing the situation, leading to decisions that might not align with their long-term goals or values.
Moreover, ADHD brains may have lower numbers of serotonin receptors, which impairs their ability to resist impulses. This neurochemical imbalance makes impulses feel stronger and more urgent, further complicating the decision-making process . The struggle with impulse control in ADHD is not just about making quick decisions but also about the emotional and cognitive toll it takes on the individual.
Through my coaching, I encourage clients to slow down and make better decisions by learning how to embody their potential choices. Book a free consultation here!
But are ADHDers always impulsive?
Short answer: No!
The issue with impulse control is not just impulsive behaviour.
Due to the executive dysfunction ADHDers experience, their natural filters for incoming information and sensations is not filtering out enough unviable options after an impulse. This leads to many possible ideas and scenarios after having an impulse. For example, think about the many possible ways one could solve a problem at work or moments where you had to make important life decisions, such as what jobs to apply for, or whether you should move to another country.
It is definitely warranted to take more time concerning bigger life decisions, but oftentimes ADHDers start overthinking multiple scenarios even for decisions that would not be life altering. They run themselves down due to the vast number of options and scenarios they have in their hand. It creates intense overwhelm and paralyses so much that many people then delay making that decision at all.
So, the time between impulse/idea and actual decision and actions is way too long! The opposite of what happens when impulsive decisions are made.
Recognising this pattern is the first step towards managing it. Techniques such as mindfulness, setting time limits for decisions, and breaking down complex choices into smaller, manageable parts can be helpful. Additionally, seeking support from a coach or therapist can provide valuable guidance and strategies tailored to individual needs.
„Most of my clients struggle with decision-making. Either they feel like they are too impulsive and don’t think about their actions, or the overthink them to the extent that nothing happens and they become stuck with no decisions made. I work with them on finding a middle ground between these two polar opposites.“
Decision Making: Too fast or too slowly
I always tell my clients that either way of making their decision is a resource. Being quick in acting is a resource especially in situations where fast decisions are required like in emergency situations. Likewise, being able to take deliberate actions and weighing options is important when it comes to more long-term projects like starting a family or starting a business.
The problem does not arise from the decision making styles themselves, but that they applied in the wrong contexts and situations leading to results or consequences that can be frustrating.
How can I make better decisions with ADHD?
Work with your body and learn to regulate your nervous system more effectively. Why? This helps you lengthen or elongate the latency after an impulse in order to have a moment to think – especially in situations where you might normally just jump the gun and act too fast.
Slowing down (just a little bit) allows you to ask yourself if you want to take action and if so, whether this action aligns with your goals, needs and current priorities.
Setting priorities is difficult for us ADHDers. But challenge yourself to evaluate how important a decision truly is.
Questioning what to eat for dinner tonight? Don’t think too much about it, trust your gut!
Wondering which yoga or fitness studio to join? Do some superficial research, but then book trial sessions and experience what these places are like. A personal experience will give you a much better base to ground your decision in. This is way more relaxing than trying to find the perfect solution in your head.
Starting a new hobby that needs hundreds of euros, dollars or pounds worth of equipment? Ask yourself if you can buy second hand, or just the bare minimum to experiment rather than investing in professional equipment.
Overthinking whether you should buy a nice pair of jeans? If you haven’t treated yourself in a while and your budget allows it – go for it! You are allowed to buy yourself gifts.
Asking yourself what career path you should take? You won’t solve this at 3am. Figure out your strengths and the next steps you can take. This is not set in stone and will change throughout your life.
Try using this ADHD adapted Eisenhower Matrix to see where a specific decision or task ranks in terms of urgency and emotional weight, and then take it from there.
🧠 It connects feelings and timing, not just logic and urgency.
💡 It allows you to honour your energy and values instead of pushing through.
🎯 It helps prioritize based on internal motivation, not just external deadlines.
🧘🏽♀️ It supports shifting attention with grace: “Not now” is not “never.”
5. To work on your decision making competence, consider working with a coach. Or if you have important decisions ahead of you. A coach can help you along the way and provide structure.
6. Ask a trusted person if you’re unsure how long a suitable time frame is for making a decision.
In my coachings sessions, I can help you design a mini-routine through means of embodiment and body therapy that can help spark your hyperfocus. I personally do this a lot, and it is amazing how achievable it can be if you know how to open yourself up for it.
Summary
Impulse control in ADHD isn’t just about acting too fast – sometimes, it’s about overthinking so long that nothing happens. Both can feel exhausting and disempowering.
The root of impulsivity lies in the brain, not in character flaws. Neurotransmitter imbalances and executive dysfunction shape how quickly (or slowly) we act after an impulse.
Decision-making with ADHD often swings between extremes – lightning-fast or painfully slow. The secret is learning to match your style to the context.
Embodiment practices help lengthen the pause between impulse and action, offering space to breathe, feel, and choose intentionally – even when your brain feels chaotic.
If you or someone you know is navigating the complexities of ADHD, consider seeking professional advice to develop personalised coping strategies. Remember, you're not alone on this journey. Together, we can transform challenges into opportunities for growth and fulfillment.
You got this!
Yours,
Kate
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